Chris Gill

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Oracles under City Lights: Preface

In Literature & Poetry, Personal on June 3, 2013 at 6:15 pm

Oracles under City Lights

On the eve of the release of Oracles under City Lights, I’m exclusively sharing the book’s preface online

A few months before moving to London, I started a blog. I hadn’t created one sooner because I’d always thought blogging to be self-indulgent, sloppy writing. I thought it was a fad that would soon blow over.

Nevertheless, it made sense for my writing to have an online presence. Despite a life-long obsession with physical books and printed journalism, it was clear that times were changing and in no way did I want to be left behind before my career had even begun.

Before starting my blog I had a conversation with a fellow writer. She explained how many of the blogs she had come across lacked a personal touch; they all blended into one another.

I knew what she meant. So many blogs out there had that ‘copycat syndrome’, simply reproducing the same content and, more often than not, relying on visuals over writing. I set out to make my own blog relatable, personal and as in-depth as possible.

So when I moved to London my blog became a salvation in many ways. Almost like a diary, I would record situations both on a social and emotional level and draw conclusions from my experiences. However, instead of tucking this diary away into a drawer, I decided to share it with the world. Or at least to the humble Twitter following I had accumulated at the time.

From my initial months in the city trying to find my feet, to momentous political and environmental events that were taking place; I realised I had a fair amount of content that ran like a captivating story. These pieces felt like significant stages in London’s recent history that I didn’t want to lose in a soon-to-be-forgotten blog reel.

Thus, I made a decision that I would revisit my recent work and pull it all together to produce a memoir on my London life – warts and all. Reading through some of my early pieces was painful at times, as it was evident how much I had developed technically in terms of my writing. It was also clear how much I had progressed on a psychological and spiritual level, encouraging me to create a guidebook on surviving modern city life while remaining sane.

I had moved to London in the summer of 2010 with the ambition of ‘making it’ as a writer and getting myself noticed. By the time of writing this, I have become a completely different person who has experienced what I consider to be an inner-city rebirth. Whether it was through the characters I came across working in fashion writing or the lies that we were being told by the government, I learnt many lessons during my first few years living in England’s big smoke.

Oracles under City Lights is my chance to share these lessons with you. When putting this memoir together I cast my mind back to the moment I moved to the city without work, experience or money. This book is what I would have wanted to read at the time I was struggling to get my foot in the door (and also what I would have wanted to read once my foot was in and it felt nothing like I thought it should).

I have written this book for me three years ago; a person that I think represents so many others then and now. Hungry, ambitious and yearning… yet completely disillusioned. I want to help others reach the spiritual awakening I experienced despite the noise and havoc that constantly surrounded me. I want this book to encourage others to defy what the system has made us believe to be important and remember what it is to feel true happiness.

I realised that no matter what we disguise it as – whether it be money, success, fame or power – all we truly want is to find the light. The purpose of this book is to show you how you can find yours.

Oracles under City Lights is split into five main parts. The first, City Lights, focuses on my initial experiences when I first moved to London. The second,Creative vs. Commercial, explores the ups and downs of professional life as I fought my way into editorial work.

The third and fourth sections, An Alternate Vision Part One and Two, run like a timeline of experiences drawn from my blog. Here I cover everything from the London riots in 2011 to the global Occupy movement, all the while drawing understandings from each experience.

The final section of the book, An Inner Light, concludes my story with ten important lessons I learnt during my London era. By reading my journey up to this point, you will have unlocked the secrets to experience an awakening of your own; one you probably didn’t even realise was possible.

Read the full preface on my Facebook page.

Order your limited edition of Oracles under City Lights now.

Published by PRNTD © 2013 All rights reserved

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Introducing my Verses

In Literature & Poetry, Personal on July 10, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Verses

One of the first things that drew me to poetry was how hard it is to actually define. To me, poetry is a way of seeing the world far beyond its literal form. It is a form of art, in the sense that it comments on the world and provokes emotions from within that help us to connect with one another. It is this connection – writer to reader, songwriter to listener, painter to viewer – that excites me the most. In a world where all connection is made through screens and wires, I think it is essential that literary arts are resurrected and kept alive.

We are all touched by poetry at one stage in our lives; whether it is as obvious as studying prose in our English Literature classes at school, or through the plays we see at the theatre, or even verses sung by our favourite singers; but it is only once we become aware of poetry’s metaphysical presence that we begin to notice it everywhere. The graffiti on a bus stop. The conversations we have with interesting strangers. The dreams we have that we try to unravel but simply do not understand. Poetry is everywhere. It is in the very air.

Putting together and producing this book felt like it had been a very long time coming for me. It is my deeply personal, ambiguous yet unabashedly open, fragile yet unafraid letter to the world. It is a collection of poetry, lyrics and stream-of-conscious psychobabble dispensed from the corners of my heart and soul over the past four years. It journeys back in time to my earliest memories and moves through the many different chapters of my life so far, right up to present day. It touches on my family life and significant moments in my youth. It expresses the feeling of being an outsider in the town I resided as a teenager. It paints a picture of my university life and all of the highs and lows that came with it. It then comes right up to date and expresses some of the lessons I have learnt through moving to London to chase my many dreams.

The book opens with a section and poem titled Catacombs. Sounding like a direct letter of confession to God, the poem sets the tone for the whole book with its promise to reveal all skeletons and ghosts, “Through every cataclysmic betrayal / that has torn my delicate world apart / I present myself to you fully / I give you the catacombs of my heart.” Creases uses the symbol of wrinkled clothing to represent defiance against the corporate machine that tries to straighten out the curves that make us interesting and unique. Here I figuratively quote a figure high upon his or her “corporate throne” who questions the marketability of my writing, a consistent paradox I have been faced with upon reaching the city as an adult. It became blindingly obvious to me when writing this poem how the parasitic world of marketing and advertising feeds from art and expression.

The second section is titled Escape to the Docks. This focuses on my life as a student and the lessons learnt through leaving home and shedding many skins. Undoubtedly the darkest section of the book, it opens with the heart-rending Trapdoor Moon that speaks of a friend’s suicide and the impact it had on the house he left behind. This was by far the hardest poem I have ever written for I could barely see my journal through the tears shed. I will never forget the experience of writing Trapdoor Moon; it was as if the words spiritually channelled through me. Era of Hades continues where Catacombs left off with its confessional tone and religious references. The poem is about the moment when you catch a glimpse of your reflection in a hedonistic haze and cannot recognise yourself. I was compelled by the image of a wild party juxtaposed with the Apocalypse and wanted to experiment with a haunting, Sylvia Plath inspired feel.

The third section of the book, Home, is an exploration of my earliest memories and relationships with my family. In many ways this section feels like the ‘heart’ or ‘core’ of the book as it touches on some of my most personal and treasured memories. Kicking off with Rotary Washing Line, I set the scene in the back garden of my childhood home. Here I explore the innocence and naïvety of childhood; we escape reality by climbing into our heads and getting lost in our imagination. I contrasted this with the harshness of growing up and facing adult pressures and responsibilities, “If only I could / climb back into my mind / the way I would do as a child / block out all the billboards / banners / and skyscrapers / all the advertisements / halfs and quarters.”

The final section of the book, and perhaps the one I am most proud of, is titled Wires. I decided to finish Verses on a less personal note, choosing to turn outwards by writing about a mixture of global issues and concerns. The main theme of this section is how technology and social media is damaging human interaction; it also investigates the omnipresence of the government and how it is consistently  looking over and controlling us. Although this part of the book has the least amount of poems, it manages to keep its length with the exceptionally epic Wires.  Wires is an ambitious closure to the book that I wrote over a couple of weeks; I found myself continually revisiting the poem right up until just before going to print as it’s a compelling subject on which I could write indefinitely.

In exploring my past and present, I wanted to address issues that feel very much a part of the future for my whole generation. As we move forward into the digital age and spend most of our time staring into pixels, a beautiful vision came to me of everyone coming together and suddenly disconnecting from “the machine and the machines.”  I delve into exploration with the pressures of being “remade right” and “gaffertaped” by youth culture and the media, “Every hipster fashion magazine / wants me hysterical and hexagon / wants me polished dazed and confused / ready to fold up and reuse.” I felt an enormous sense of release being able to put the feelings I have about these subcultures into words. In writing this verse I began to realise how growing older has altered my perception of self-identity and how less willing I am to let mine be assembled by others.

Being my debut publication, it was important for me to take the design and production into just as much consideration as the poems themselves. This included avoiding the clutch of a big literary power-house and publishing the book independently. I photographed the landmarks I notice on my every day journey from Camden Road to Mornington Crescent. I then used these images to accompany and illustrate my words. From the ugly communal décor in my block of flats to the grand design of Greater London House – I felt that such contrasting settings would somehow represent the highs and lows expressed in the poems I have pieced together for this collection.

As I shape shift through each section of this book and journey from childhood to manhood, it is so gratifying to finally have a place for all of these weather-worn poems to exist beside one another. Whatever you take from my memoirs, I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed freeing them. These are my treasures. These are my scars. These are my verses.

Limited editions of Verses are available to pre-order now:
http://chrisgillverses.info

Published by PRNTD © 2011 All rights reserved

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Poetry is dead. Long live poetry.

In Literature & Poetry, Technology on June 4, 2011 at 5:09 pm

“Literal people scare me / out there trying to rid the world of its poetry.”

 - Literal, Ani Difranco

How many times have you been asked who your favourite musician is?  I’m guessing plenty. How about your favourite author, actor or artist?  Again, undoubtedly nothing out the ordinary. However, how many times has somebody asked you who your favourite poet is? And if they did, would you honestly have an answer? You will have to excuse my sweeping generalisation, but the answer is most probably that you don’t have a favourite poet, nor do you overly care about having one. The reason for this appears to be as clear as glass: Poetry is dead.

Long live poetry.

What I have personally always enjoyed about the literary art is how hard it is to actually define. In a paper on the concept of poetry by a Polish historian of aesthetics, it is pointed out that “Poetry [...] is an art based on language. But poetry also has a more general meaning [...] that is difficult to define because it is less determinate: poetry expresses a certain state of mind.” I think this is one of the best descriptions of the concept of poetry I have ever come across. In my eyes, poetry is a form of art produced to make us feel something. To open our minds and make us see completely different dimensions to the world around us.

I guess my love for verse parallels my love for language and lyrics.  I loved studying poetry in my English classes at school and thoroughly enjoyed analysing each stanza and exploring the hidden meanings behind them. Still to this day nothing touches me more in lyricism than the clever use of imagery or a metaphor. In the same vein, although my love for music is obviously influenced by its sound, I have always been drawn specifically to a song’s lyrical content. Once I discovered Ani Difranco at fifteen-years-old my perspective of poetry was widened even further. Her reflective, agile way with words inspired me immeasurably and blurred the boundaries between poetry in music and poetry in print.

Despite my personal feelings, there is no denying the fact that poetry is essentially insignificant in modern-day culture. So what killed it?

It could be argued that the answer to this question is either enormously layered or entirely transparent. Perhaps postmodernism is to blame; many people who don’t read poetry (undeniably the majority of society) feel it is hard to understand or relate to. Fictional books about wizards and vampires go on to become worldwide bestsellers while poetry books find it hard to even make the printers. It’s no secret that poetry does not pay the rent, leading many poets to abandon the craft altogether.

Perhaps this is the issue. There is no commercial viability to poetry. No gloss, no hype, no image. In our society, music is often a product that can be bottled up and sold with a great big marketing campaign wrapped around it like a ribbon. It’s about how much revenue Apple or Amazon can make from ‘Little Monsters’ – or ‘Little Consumers’ – downloading Lady Gaga’s latest single for the latest iPod. It is a multi-billion dollar industry that makes poetry appear invisible and irrelevant in comparison. In an age where nearly all communication is made through screens and wires, people just don’t have the patience to sit down and unravel the mysteries behind a Sylvia Plath or a Judy Grahn.

However, it would appear that there is still potential for poetry to experience a rebirth in the 21st century. In 2002, heiress Ruth Lilly made a $100 million donation to the Poetry Foundation that produces Poetry Magazine, the most widely read magazine of its kind in the world. This gift allowed for the Poetry Foundation to establish the Poetry Slam in America, where hundreds of thousands of young poets compete against one another each year. They recite their work in expressive and powerful ways, bringing the skill right up to date.

It also appears that poetry is continuing its evolution into the Digital Age, with a focus on how literary arts can intertwine with technology. The publishing company Faber recently took TS Eliot into a whole new digital dimension with the launch of an iPad app based on his iconic monolithic poem, The Waste Land. The exciting app includes a video performance of the poem, notes, commentaries, and readings from Ted Hughes, Viggo Morensen, and Eliot himself.

As a huge fan of Eliot and his said legendary creation, I was more than a little sceptical about the piece being turned into an electronic spectacle. Call me old-fashioned, but in my eyes there really is no substitute to the smell and feel of an old book. In spite of this, I can say I was pleasantly surprised at how the touch-screen tablet presented the classic in an entirely new light. Suddenly, the prospect of bringing something as organic and emotionally raw as poetry into a futuristic realm filled me with enthusiasm and artistic stimulation. It goes to show that the time-honored literary art could still have relevance and exist graciously in today’s world.

More than ever before, the possibilities for creation are becoming limitless. Over the last century poetry has been drowned out and crucified by social media, music videos, and the galactic blogosphere. However, perhaps now truly is the time for it to have its second coming and unite with a world that functions predominately through wires.

One Woman Army

In Literature & Poetry, Music on January 15, 2011 at 5:17 pm

When it comes to music, there are those artists you get into because you love their voice. Others you may respect the viewpoint of or relate to their lyrics. Some you may enjoy the style and visuals of, and then of course there are those guilty pleasures that just make you want to dance. Every now and then though, you may come across an artist who just ticks all the boxes and then some. This particular artist managed to change my entire outlook on life, as well as opening my eyes in ways they had never been opened before…

Anyone who knows anything about me will know that my favourite musical artist in the world is the singer/songwriter/guitarist/poet/self-built entrepreneur, Ani Difranco. My dear friend of forever, Natalie, had downloaded a couple of her tracks back in school which she played to me when I was about fifteen. I remember first hearing Shameless and being utterly blown away. I loved how her vocals went from soft to ferocious and was amazed by her frantic yet exceptional acoustic guitar playing skills.

I went straight into Brighton that weekend and dug out the Ani Difranco section in my favourite record store and was amazed to find the amount of albums she had. I took a lucky guess on a good place to start and bought Living in Clip, a double-disc collection of live performances of Ani in the nineties. I was staying with friends that night and after they had fallen asleep I stayed up well into the early hours of the morning playing the album repeatedly on my portable CD player. I remember thinking how I had never heard things put the way that she put them before and simply could not stop listening to her. From here on I worked my way through Ani’s extensive discovery of records and got my hands on every single one, from her raw yet revolutionary debut, through her many changes, bootlegs and live shows, right up to her more recent and self-found work. She has continued to be my favourite artist for almost a decade and I have seen her play live countless times. She has also been the inspiration behind several of my tattoos, including her song Promised Land written on my inner arm in her handwriting. Oh yes, in my eyes Ani Difranco is the real deal.

Difranco was born in Buffalo, New York, in 1970. By 1989 she had started her own record company called Righteous Records, which would later go on to be called Righteous Babe Records in 1994. She began playing Beatles covers and busking with her guitar teacher at the age of nine. Her self-titled debut was released on the label in 1990, which led to her touring vigorously and slowly building an underground following . This went on to be the pattern for the years to come, with the determined little folk-singer writing hundreds of songs and releasing 20 recorded albums in total so far (sometimes releasing as many as 3 albums in a single year). Her music covers themes such as human and equal rights, feminism, politics, environmentalism and self-expression. According to her official website she has “fixed up a few old buildings” and minimized her carbon footprint before it was trendy – from installing a geothermal heating and cooling system in the renovated church that her label calls home to using organic inks on all the t-shirts she sells.

One of the most inspirational things that Ani has taught me is how important it is to be as free-spirited as possible and avoid the corporate machine whenever possible. Her self-built record label has led to Rolling Stone labeling her “fiercely independent”, and “the ultimate do-it-yourself songwriter” by The New York Times. This bold decision has been addressed in some of her lyrical content:

“No I don’t prefer obscurity
but I’m an idealistic girl
and I wouldn’t work for you
no matter what you paid
and I may not be able
to change the whole fucking world
but I could be the million
that you never made.”

The Million You Never Made, Not a Pretty Girl

“I think
he does not hear what I’m saying
he’s just looking at my eight by ten
and wondering about
the part that was left out
does she have a body
that will really draw them in?

but I’d rather pay my dues
to the six people
sitting at the bar
than to all those men
in their business suits
who say I’ll take you away from this
if you’ll just
get in the car.”

The Next Big Thing, Not So Soft.

It can’t have always been easy for Ani to turn down the temptation of record deals, however she followed her heart and built her own empire (out of car tyre’s and chicken wire as she once sang). This has proven to me how with enough self-belief, persistence and ambition you can achieve your dreams without selling your soul along the way. If I could have half the career that Difranco has had with my writing, simply with the knowledge that I have done it my own way and not compromised myself or my views to fit anyone elses’ ideals; I would be utterly satisfied.

So over the next two weeks I will finally be seeing my favourite righteous babe play again in both Brighton and London, which of course I am majorly psyched about. No matter what twists and turns my own life has taken over the last decade, Ani’s music has constantly managed to reach out and speak to me in ways not many other artists have. I feel that finally writing this article is the least I can do out of gratitude for finding an artist that has played such a big part in my own personal evolution, as well as constantly inspiring and influencing me. I hope it introduces her to people that may not yet be familiar with her work, and opens their eyes and minds in the way it has mine and so many others. I truly believe there are so many lessons to be learnt from this phoenix who dared to rise out of the ash, just as she continues to fly past.

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